Tuesday 26 January 2010

Raptured

I WISH I had found out about this myself, but I must confess that I heard about this last Wednesday from the compere at GLEE17, I can't resist writing about it though!

An atheist group in the US has set up a scheme called Eternal Earth-Bound Pets. For the meagre sum of $110, Christian pet owners can take out a policy to ensure that their pets will be adopted in the event that they (the owners) are raptured to heaven when Christ returns to earth. Extra pets cost $15 extra per animal.

Let me guess.......WTF??!! Allow me to explain.

Some Christian fundamentalists believe in the Rapture and in the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. The order of these happenings is contended somewhat, but here follows the basic sequence of events that are expected within the next few years, referred to as the 'end times'.


  • Christ will return to earth to the fanfare of heavenly trumpets and angelic chorus

  • True followers of Christianity will be 'raptured' to heaven and the Lord in order that they are protected from the proceeding events.

  • Tribulation will follow, God will pass judgement over all the unbelievers left on earth

  • Tribulation will culminate in the Battle Of Armageddon. Jesus Christ will return physically, leading heavenly armies which will then join all nations in attacking Israel.

  • Jesus and the Saints will then rule over the earth for 1000 years.

There's more, but I'll spare you.

You can see the niche that EEBP has exploited. I would assume that most fundamentalist Christians are firm in the belief that animals have no souls, and therefore their cherished pets will not be raptured with them to heaven, what will happen to them when they're gone?

Animal loving atheists are stepping in to help out. EEBP can assure its clientele that its operatives will be left behind on earth, they have all provided statements and documentation to the effect that they do not believe in a divine being and have blasphemed, thereby ensuring they will be denied entrance to heaven. Sorted!

I some states EEBP will even take in horses, camels, llamas and donkeys.

Well done these business-minded atheists....I wonder if anyone has set up the British branch yet?

Of course, some people will go to any lengths to try and fool Jesus

He'll never know........

2 comments:

  1. Sproglet..

    We have had requests from the UK to franchise our business, but we are not expanding during this our initial development phase.

    I am happy to report that we signed our 100th client in November.

    Yours in reason,
    Bart
    aka Dromedary Hump
    creator/co-owner : EE-BP, USA
    author: The Atheist Camel Chronicles [amazon.comUS]

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bart, thank you ever so much for stopping by.

    Sorry to hear you haven't yet branched into the UK, please do keep me in mind for when you do!!

    I reckon I could even deal with those chihuahuas and their nasty habits.

    (I'm so sorry....that was awful...I'll go now).

    Yours,

    B :o)

    ReplyDelete