Tuesday, 31 March 2009

Farms and beer and doughnuts

I've been told off for being lazy with my blog! I'm back :o)

So Sunday was a good one!! Jo and I went to FARM, it was lovely, and Jo made a fwiend...seee! We saw goats, sheep and lambs, a sad donkeh, chickens, geese, ducks, piggies....er,er. I think that may be it, I'm sure Jo will correct me if I forget anything. The farm was cool, it was like a little eco-warrior haven in the middle of Hackney.

So, we followed our alcoholic noses to a pub just down the road, fully intending to return to the farm for feeding time......needless to say, we missed feeding time. We were busy supping pints and perving on fit rowers on the telleh (Oxford Cambridge boat race).

So afterwards we wandered to Hackney, heading in a vaguely homewards direction, looking for another suitable drinking hole. Our only criteria was that it served beer, so onwards to the Cock Tavern it was. I was needing a widdle by this point, so straight into the loo I'd just walked past on the way in. My first surprise was that the door to the ladies appeared to open out into a small outside area into which someone had unceremiously stuffed a small plastic table, umbrella and plastic chair ensemble. Now....I know I had signed up for a day of getting down and dirty with nature....but seriously? Then I noticed the door on my right.....shortly afterwards I wished I hadn't. I'd never been in a toilet like this in my life. The smell of urine was overpowering, the toilet roll was kitchen roll, there was no toilet seat, the plastic cistern was covered in cigarette burns and......shite. I've spent many a merry hour taking the piss out of ladies who paper the toilet seat, or worse, hover over public toilet seats. These kinds of ladies would have walked straight out of this loo, but me being me...and pretty desperate...I had to do the old squat and hover. It was at this point I was painfully reminded of how long it's been since I last did any squatting whatsoever, in any circumstances. In fact...I can still feel it now, as I type, a vicious reminder of how unfit I am. I've blocked it out, but pretty sure the legs gave way in the end *shudder*. I wished I'd gone and pissed in the courtyard.

After which I returned to the bar and spotted the newer, cleaner toilets at the other end of the bar. Damn my bladder!!

Aaaaaanywhoo, next pub was the Bootlaces, right near Jobies place, in which we stayed for a few. 2 pints of Guinness, mmmmmmm, Guinnesssssss. Jo had some fly intestine with hers too....and she calls herself a vegetarian. There was some kind of birthday party going on and it was slowly getting more and more messy, I can only imagine what the place would have been like had we stayed till closing!

More beers picked up on the way home.....mmmmmmmm. Back to Jo's and DOMINOS!!!!! Oh I love dominos!! I really do love it. I had saved money back especial and everything. Best part of an hour later it hadn't arrived, so we called back and got our garlic bread free! 2 meals for a grand total of £10.50. Did I mention I love Dominos??

....my apologies, this entry is becoming a bit haphazard, I have sausages cooking ready for a sandwich and I'm getting excited......

Lastly....I ate 3 Krispy Kreme doughnuts today :( Massive sugar crash at about 2pm! What am I gnna do with meself??

Saturday, 28 March 2009

Robster-Goggie and general crap

Ahhhhhhhh!! Look at the poor liddle robster-goggie!! Come to think of it...look at the state of the hobs, only just noticed that. If you're going to take pictures then sort it aaaaaaaat people!

That made me laugh, just had to share.

Chillaxing at the homestead today, after the initial slight mingingness of getting up this morning (one too many beers with the wiluf last night) I've had something to eat (sausage roll, chicken tikka bites and 2 petit filous) and a nice shower and feeling better.

Going to Hackney City Farm with the Jobie tomorrow! I'm gonna see the piggies and the cows and the horsies and the sheeps and goats and CHIKINZ!! I really want chickens when I get my own place with a garden :)

Going to check out the new homestead Monday night too....how exciting!!

Update on sister blog! - When Nicki was little she cut her bum on the bidet climbing from the bath to the toilet!! Mehheheheheheheheheheheh!!

Sorry Nicki :o)

Thursday, 26 March 2009

My lovely sister and her dead toe

Well....I tell a small lie, she has dead skin on her baby toe, she would just like everybody to know that. My one follower is now nicely up to date :D

I've decided to introduce her because when I was chatting about blogging earlier she became suspicious that I had been talking about her. I realised I hadn't....what is THAT all about, so here we are!

Nicki and I met on 22nd June 1986, whereupon I began poking her face in the long-held tradition of sibling rivalry.....and nothing much has changed. She looked a bit like David Jason back then...see evidence above!!

When we were younger we fought like cat and dog, I seem to remember scissors even being thrown at one point!! Eeek!! There were brief moments of calm though...look at this, bless us!

Now, mum must have made an extra special effort for this photo after the one from the year before, which I won't even try and dig up to post. It seems that we had a slight aversion to preening during our childhood. We had National Trust 'passports', the photos in these were truely hideous! My hair resembled the nest of a psychotic albatross and Nicki appeared to have a some kind of bruise...or perhaps chocolate on her face. Could you not have CLEANED us first???!!!
Bloody parents!

Here are some facts about my lovely sister*:
  • She owns approximately one million and two pairs of shoes

  • She has a bag to match every pair of shoes

  • She has a chocolate Nesquik fetish

  • When she grows up she wants to be a kipper

  • She will readily attack people for a tasty snack

  • Possessesssesss one of the best senses of humour I've ever known

  • Got her hamster 'Hammy' so fat that a) we had to replace his house for a larger model, b) he fell onto his side and couldn't get back up again, c) when he died we had to fork out for a crane to bury him in the garden

  • She has a penchant for sexually assulting snowmen

*one of these is false, only one.

Well, hopefully this is suitably embarrassing for now...if not I have plenty more I can write about, don't I Nicki!!! :D I shall leave you with some evidence of my last fact....

Digestive update

Apparently they're semi-solid now, and he hopes to return to work (sans butt plug) tomorrow :o)

Wednesday, 25 March 2009

Digestive Pyrotechnics

I know various people who think my conversations always come back round to poo.....and yes, sometimes I do indulge in the odd fecal conversation, however, I feel I have been led astray by people at work in this regard. One of my colleagues has been on MSN from home for 3 days now, describing each motion as it passes. He has some kind of food poisoning or gastric flu....and so he's passing a motion roughly every 30 minutes!! The digestive acrobatics I've been privy to over the last few days have made even MY toes curl.....

....moving on swiftly......

I'm going to ITALY in June!! 3 nights in Rome, 4 nights in Florence. I scoured Amazon this morning and have guidebooks to Rome, Florence and Tuscany, and a book on conversational Italian winging their way to me in the post now :o). The last time I went to Rome it was in October, I want to see the Spanish Steps in Spring/Summer, they were lovely, but the pictures I saw afterwards had lots of lovely flowers surrounding them, hopefully I'll catch that this time.

I've never been to Florence but I've always wanted to and so I'm looking forward to that too. Flights and hotels are booked....just the internal train rides now.

Watch out Italy!

Tuesday, 24 March 2009

Tapas, I am obsessed

I would have added this to my original tapas post......but it looks as if you can only edit up to a certain time afterwards?? Or maybe I'm just rubbish!

APPARENTLY!! The word tapas actually means 'lid' which I already knew because it confused me somewhat when I was looking for the meaning of tapas myself. Originally tapas was the term for a slice of bread or meat that sherry drinkers in Andalucia used to keep flies out of their sherry (I guess they didn't mind them laying eggs on their chorizo). These meats were very salty and thirst-inducing, the barmen took full advantage and started creating lots of little thirst inducing snacks to serve with the sherry = more sherry sales, hence the birth of tapas

I aim to educate! Enjoy :o)

Mew :o( Do I HAVE to move again??

My housemate told me he's moving out last night, moving in with a mate to help out with the mortgage. How can I be upset about that? I can't, he's lovely and he's doing it cos he cares.

Leaves me in a bit of a predicament though, here are my options:

  • Stay and try to find someone to move in with me...either a mate or a random by advertising on the interwebs

  • Move back in with my parents....shudderment*

  • Move in by myself (the most attractive prospect if I can afford it)

  • Convince/force a mate to let me move in with them

  • Move into a flat/houseshare where I'd run the risk of ending up with someone I dislike

*Just to clarify, love the parents to bits, but once you've moved out it's hard to go back....I need my own space, and they don't have enough of it!

So I've spent this morning on property finder looking at places in Croydon and Walthamstow....worlds apart I know, but I'd like to be close to either family or friends. Much as I like my own space, I don't want to be out in the sticks all alone!

I just hope Daddeh has plenty of room in the van.........

Monday, 23 March 2009

Bodyworlds, zoo, grumpy animals...all the usual

So yeah, I went to Body Worlds - Mirror of time, on Saturday with my sister. It was quite interesting. I do think that MAYBE they could have eased you into the exhibition a little more softly than they did. The first thing you're confronted with is tubes containing embryos in various stages of development....then you turn the corner and you have foetuses....or should I say foeti? I'm not in the habit of referring to herds (collective noun for foeti??) of foeti so I don't really know......Where was I?? Foeti in glass cases. The climax of which is the 'reclining pregnant lady' whose abdomen is opened up to expose the baby and how it affects all the internal organs, smooshed up underneath the lungs and diaphragm.

Despite the slightly rough nature of introduction, it is very interesting, especially if you are into anatomy, biology etc. It didn't really sink in with me that these guys are really real, until I saw the skin man, a flayed guy standing there holding up his skin. It's only when you get close that you see all the hair on the skin of the arms and legs....and the fact that he had really cracked heels (Garnier foot lotion would have worked on that love). I do respect the people that sign themselves up for this process, putting themselves up for the most intense and intimate scrutiny you're ever likely to experience.....albeit after you're dead.

Biggest Pro: Made me come away with a better understanding of how the shite I do affects my body, and wanting to maintain a healthier lifestyle....I wonder how long THAT will last!

Biggest Con: They left the nipples on the women but not the men!! Hmmmm *enter cynical smilie here*

Zoo yesterday was good :o) Lots and lots of new people which is excemellenté!!

Animal tried to kill me though! Yes! It's true! Her name is Roo, she's a milk snake. Most people say harmless, but now I know different.....killers they are!! KILLERS!!

ok, so she's about 4 foot long, 1.5 inch circumference, and VERY grumpy! Looks a bit like that one there. Evil!! Watch out for her!

Saturday, 21 March 2009

Time - where does it go??


I was quite ill just after christmas this year, and I don't think I've REALLY recovered since, snots and lethargy. Yum....

I've come to the conclusion that it's just cos I'm doing too damn much! I think I need a holiday....I definitely need a holiday. Zoo is fab, but it's amazing just how much time one day every 2 weeks is, when it's one of your four days off a fortnight.

This weekends tiredness is of my own making though I suspect, Wednesday night was a spectacular failure of a 'sensible' night. 8 or so pints later.........we're trying to convince a sober someone that a threesome with 2 completely fecked females is a GREAT idea! The allure we must have been exuding can only have been matched by the odour....the odour of stale beer. In our defence we were joking....at first anyway...by the end we were trying to figure out how exactly this was going to work when neither of us had ANY desire whatsoever to see the other in the altogether.

Clothes-on Threesome?? It may have been a first!

That, and the fact that last weekend I was in Dublin...drinking and travelling equal general knackeredness.

St John Thursday.....I almost fell asleep on the bus to Streatham, I mean, REALLY nearly fell asleep. Generally I tend to doze a bit on the bus, but I was in full head nodding mode, the kind where you're drooling on your overly-polite nextdoor person before you realise what's going on. Bless them for not walloping you in the face.

More early nights and free weekends for Becki!!

Friday, 20 March 2009

Just because...

This made me smile :o)

Mmmmmmm, tapas

Just went for lunch at Navarros for my bosses birthday, I haven't been for tapas for ages and forgot how much I like it. I even tried the calamari rings...aren't I good!

I always find with tapas, I look at the dishes as they arrive and think 'Oh it's faaaaaaar too much, my tiny (pah!!) frame will never support it'....then reality kicks in as I remember how many people are sharing, so I try and snarf as much as possible (as subtly as possible) to fill my substantial (that's more like it) frame.

THEN I realise that I was right in the first place, they just keep turning up with more and more food, but the brain hasn't kicked in yet, I'm in primal mode....and by then end of the meal I'm sat like some puffed up toad in the corner and have to be rolled back to work.


I didn't have pudding though so overall this is a success story!

I can't stand empty spaces

So I'm going to have to chat crap at this page until it looks a little fuller.....

I'm trying to think of a thought for the day...but my brain isn't working....

Does a fish know when it's raining?


Well......isn't THIS nice!

I was actually just trying to create a google account so I could leave a bastard comment on Jo's blog, but here I am now....unprepared....uninteresting.

You'll have great fun reading this, I guarantee ;o)