Telemavision!

The TV in our front room was unceremoniously blown up a couple of weeks ago now, which may explain why I've been spending SO much time on the internet recently!

I've discovered the wonders of BBC iPlayer and ITVPlayer, I've been catching up on all the delights television has to offer. I think that during the last week I've actually watched more telly per day than I did when the TV was working. This is partly due to the fact that I can pick whatever I want to watch whenever I want to watch it (assuming it's available, I couldn't believe iPlayer wasn't playing Hi De Hi, tut!), but also due to the fact that it's not an endless reiterating timetable.

I used to wander in from work, switch onto Channel 4+1 and watch the end of the Paul O'Grady show (or Come Dine With Me), then the Simpsons, after which I'd usually end up on Virgin 1 watching some kind of X-Files or Star Trek series (unless Dog Whisperer was on). This just became habit though, and mostly I'd just sit listening to it whilst surfing the net, ask me at 8pm I couldn't tell you what the episode of Simpsons at 7 had been about! It can't be good for the old brain cells.

Anyway, the thing I've become slightly obssessive about recently is Hells Kitchen. There's something about Marco Pierre White, and I'm not sure what it is, he's not classically handsome...especially with that scabby dishrag tied round his head! I think it's the sense that there's something slightly dangerous, slightly wild and very exciting just itching to burst out of him....I mean his pants......No, I mean him. He's an enigma, and a bit of mystery never did anyone any harm. I get the impression that when he looks at you, in that way that makes you wee a little bit in your undercrackers, it feels like he's looking right into the depths of your soul! I'd crack under the pressure and start to confess everything like he's some kind of demi-god, 'I give up!! I CONFESS!!!! I stole the pasta, I STOLE it ok???.....

.......one hour later, 'and then, when he wasn't looking, I trapped a fart in his lunchbox, only a little bit of poo came out. He always ignored me at school after that!!'........

No one, least of all Marco needs to know about all that, so I think it's a good thing that a) I'm not a celebrity and b) I'm not in Hells Kitchen.

Anyway *cough*

So I'm with St John covering the London Marathon on Sunday, with a tad of trepidation I must say. The marathon was my first duty ever last year, but we were at the Cutty Sark and I was really new etc etc. Now I've been there a year and we're at the finish line, no-holds-barred time. It's going to be really busy, especially if the weather keeps up, it'll be good though, it's all good experience.

Right, I've just frightened myself into swotting up in the old first aid manual for a while, not before another dose of the lovely Marco and Hells Kitchen though. Personally I'm rooting for Ade Edmondson or Naomi (Miss Dynamite-ee), come on guys!!!!

p.s. Sorreh, I couldn't find a piccy with that crappy dishrag! I think maybe he breaks the cameras of people who try and take one.