Wednesday, 7 October 2009


I find myself physically and mentally exhausted after a tough evening yesterday, for full details (and photographic evidence) of the 'Big Clean' you must visit Ogs Blog....for a laugh if nothing else. Yes, Ogs and I spent nigh on 3 hours last night performing a thorough deep clean of her flat. Housework not being a favoured pastime of the masses, let alone for Jo and I, I feel I now need to explain our twisted actions.

Jobie has been in her flat in the Stow for seven or eight years now and I think she's got to the point where she wants to upgrade, move onto something new and a bit exciting. I'm in a situation where, as I'm travelling for 3 months next year, I'll be moving back in with the folks before I leave and living there for as long as necessary when I get back. As I'm sure I've said before in a previous post, I love my parents to bits, but this won't last long if I have to move in for an extended period of time.

As such, Ogs and Sprogs find themselves in something which could turn out to be a win win situation! If Jobie finds a nice little 2-bed place (lovenest-place-lovenest) then I can rent the second bedroom and Jobie cuts her costs! Jo has more money, I don't have to harrass my mother and father to within an inch of their sanity.....and we both get to live with our best mate!

Of course there are the obvious hurdles. I turned to Jo the other day with a concerned look on my face and asked:

'But Jo.....what about when one of us gets married??'

At which point we creased up in laughter......ok, maybe that's not such a massive hurdle after all.

We have already agreed on a few House Rules:

1) In order to maintain friendship, Ogs and Sprogs need a dishwasher. One loads ones own washing up into the dishwasher and when it is full, dishwasher goes on. Under NO circumstances must one put dirty washing up into a dishwasher full of clean crockery due to laziness.

2) When we get chikinz, they will look like this:

Soz Ogs, I know it's not the same one...I couldn't find the pikture!

3) Becki's shit stays in Becki's room. I'm not referring to actual, you know, faeces, there is a time and a place for that. I shall be living in Og's house, no matter how I might like to dress it up to potential man-shapes, and therefore I shall do my utmost to refrain from creating a front-room reminiscent of a Becki-themed psychotic episode. I shall not soil my own room, nor set fire to anything....but there is a chance it shall be a tad.....unkempt. I shall sleep naked and without bedcovers, sans routine, in order to prevent Jo peeking in on the untidyness too frequently. It's for her own good.

4) Men......we haven't quite decided what will happen here, though I suspect that if I think he is no good for her I shall glare at him over breakfast and then accidentally spear his face with a screwdriver whilst doing some 'DIY'. I'm sure Jo is not as cruel and would simply cover him in jam and let Mornington love him to death.

Whatever happens, I'm sure we won't remain single for long...............*cough*

5) No farting if we're expecting company within the hour, no missing the toilet.

I shall post up new rules as and when we come up with them.

Criteria for our lovenest originally included a pony paddock and underground dungeon, however, we were disappointed that most properties seemed only to offer one or the other....or neither.....never both. You can't have a pony paddock without the dungeon, it's just not right.

So, we decided to settle for a garden and a shed, where we shall hold captive unsuspecting victims. Feeding them up until they're too obese to move unaided, at which point we'll take them out for a roll around the garden. Yes, we HAVE actually discussed all this, it's a plan Batpeople.

SO, to take us back to the beginning, the reason Jo and I were scrubbing our hands raw last night is because an Estate Agent was coming to value the flat tonight.....


I frigging hate estate agents.....what tossers

Now I've got that out of my system I need to rush off and do my hair.....make the bed and get an early night ready for a horrendously early morning with Toast Masters (more about that tomorrow I expect)

Image cred:

1 comment:


    Rules rules rules. It isn't all about the rules.

    The Ogs-Sprogs Lovenest is more about joy and friendship and yes, the unsuspecting male hostages in the shed :)