Catch-up

My my, but it IS silly season at the moment isn't it, I'll be carrying my liver around with me in a jar before long.

Here are some Sproglet Festive Season Facts:

- I ate almost an entire Terrys Chocolate Orange to myself on Boxing Day

- Every year mum and dad buy new wrapping paper, but they keep the old stuff. Wrapping paper at mum and dads house is either brand new or 5 years old. This has become so out of hand that it's facilitated the purchase of a wrapping paper 'organiser' which resembles a suitcase.

- Cracker jokes get worse every year

- Both Nicki and Dad's heads are too big for cracker-hats. They look ok from the front, but when you turn them round there's a massive rip.

- Books with silly pictures of animals are a staple...and made of win.

- No matter how old my sister and I get, we still have stockings. I turned 26 this year. They are, however, getting smaller and slightly more adult (not in a fishnet kind of way). When we were wee our stockings were roughly the same size as us, stocking shaped and all different colours etc. This year we had little sacks instead of stockings, cos that makes it more grown up.

Ahem

This Christmas was good, if busy. I went out with Oggers on the day before Christmas Eve for her worky drinks, and Christmas Eve was spent flapping around Croydon in a bid to pick up those bits that I'd kept putting off, blindly stumbling closer to Christmas in the confidence that time would slow down and stop at some point, allowing me to wander round Selfridges at my leisure, pushing people over and putting them in funny positions.

Nanny and my aunt and uncle came over for Christmas dinner. Nanny seems to get smaller every year blesser!

Boxing day was chillout and the day after was my last zoo day! It won't sink in until 2 weeks time when I'm sat at home thinking...'I should be doing something now'. Jo, Choy, Lucy and I (the hardcore crowd) when out for drinkies. We left Camden at about 9, but in our eternal wisdom, Jo and I hit the local when we got back to the Stow..until closing....gah!!

Yesterday I saw my lovely Mark, he's moving out! Exciting exciting, we hit Sam Smiths...nom nom and cheapy cheapy. We feasted upon McCoys and beer and then made a relatively early (and almost sober) retreat. By this point I'm merely topping up the already high level of alcohols in my bloodstream, I'm not sure that I'm ever 100% sober at any point.

To come is Calendar Girls with the fambly, Party Piece, Vicky's bday and New Year.....

Ye gawds..

Seasons Greetings

Christmas Time!

In Ancient Rome, high ranking officials would give gifts to the Emperor around the winter solstice.

In the 17th century and earlier, parents would give their kids chocolate or fruit on St Nicholas's feast day.

In the Victorian era, the more prosperous would go out onto the streets and give food to the less fortunate.

Tomorrow we'll be giving our own gifts, but it's not all about the presents is it now? Though they are an added bonus. It's a time to appreciate having all your family and friends around.

I hope all of you have a wonderful christmas in your own individual ways, Wilf in Madrid, Lindar in Australia! I'll be at home with the fambly, auntie Pat, Uncle Roy and Nannoo are coming round which is unusual, we haven't had multiple guests for Christmas for a while.

So wherever you are in the world, have an awesome time, seasons greetings to everyone who has visited me over the past few months!!

Merry Christmas

God jul

Meri Kirihimete

Feliz Navidad!

Froehliche Weihnachten

Joyeux Noel

Bada Din Mubarak Ho

Wesolych Swiat Bozego Narodzenia

Hristos se rodi!

Sawadee Pee Mai

I'D MIILAD SAID OUA SANA SAIDA

Kala Christouyenna!

Vrolijk Kerstfeest en een Gelukkig Nieuwjaar!

Prejeme Vam Vesele Vanoce a stastny Novy Rok

Pozdrevlyayu s prazdnikom Rozhdestva i s Novim Godom

Mo'adim Lesimkha. Chena tova

Buone Feste Natalizie

Selamat Hari Natal

Ask, and ye shall recieve!

I asked for a scarf...and I got one. A nice one!

Jo asked for a scarf bloggage. So here it is!

In my defence, I've been too busy wearing the thing to blog about it. Jo finished it just in time for this cold snap...for which I will be eternally grateful. I'm almost positive it's the one thing that has prevented me coming down with one of those horrendous throat infections that plague me at this time of year.

I was presented with said scarfage a couple of Saturday nights ago, whereupon we set about modelling for the camera. We also modelled some lovely badges Jo had picked up that day.

Quick disclaimer: Modelling suggests some kind of aesthetic quality...I can't speak for the gorgeous Jo who looks lovely even in her lesbian lumberjack shirt....but I'm frigging hideous.

I then spent the week abusing it whilst training. I rarely took it off and I'm pretty sure all the guys on the course thought I was a bit of a nutter.

So when I got back, it had stretched....a bit....

In my defence (again, your Honour), it's stretchy wool, and in my defence, it's only stretched because I've loved it too much. But I'm sure Jo considers this scarf abuse in the first degree. She seemed disgusted as she held it up in front of her and both ends touched the ground.


But I lubs it and it's mine not hers and she can poo off.

So there.

Lubbly Food!

A food post, it's definitely what has been lacking recently.

I was all set to starve last night. I contemplated going to bed at about 21:30 when the grumbling in my tumbly started, sleep through it, sleep through the pain.

Then, to make matters worse (I thought) Grant came in and started pottering around in the kitchen. It was only a matter of time before those lovely food smells would come wafting out. I keep being asked what a 'Grant' is, it's a live-in landlord. He's lovely, but he doesn't like people to know that, so don't tell him I told you...shhhh.

Belly gave in and I wandered into the kitchen to grab the only thing I had that was edible...a tin of mackerel in brine. I've eaten mackerel out of the tin before, but I prefer it in sunflower oil.

I should stop spending all my money on beer and feed myself now and again shouldn't I?

Grant caught me and offered to double up his portions and I could eat with him. WIN! He was making a salmony, garlicy, tomatoey, prawny thing with spaghetti.

I say prawny.....2 prawns.

I was put in charge of the salad, it was an excellent salad if I do say so myself. Very vegetably. The salad is the most important part you know. Or maybe it's the only thing he trusted me with. I guess we'll never know.

The excitement was overwhelming when we started setting the table. I haven't eaten properly at the table for a while and there was a salad and red wine and everything! Grant put paprika, olive oil and lemon juice on the salad, dished up and were were ready to go!

But I had to take pictures first, like the sad case I am!

>

Om nom nom!!

A short way in, Grant realised he had both of the prawns. Being a selfless fellow, he threw a prawn at me in celebration of delightful prawny goodness.

In my own celebratory style, I threw it straight into my mouth, and Grant said:

"It's got a tail on"

....shortly before I discovered this fact for myself.

Not so civilised was the throwing of prawns and subsequent digging around in mouth for prawn tail.

I cleared up after dinner...aren't I good.

Today, Nicki took me to Yo Sushi! for a cheapy lunch. She had a complimentary £12 lunch due to a mistake they made with a delivery last week.

More prawny deliciousness with a prawn yakisoba, and we shared edamame and duck gyoza, then chocolate and raspberry truffle and froot for desert!

Now I'm off for more noogles with Vicky! Mmmmmmm fooooooods!!

And the Christmas stuff-your-face hasn't even started yet!!

Do cowboy boots leak?

Because I know you've all been dying to know the answer to THAT question....

It appears that they do, copiously in fact.

Yes, I haven't done a snow post yet, I thought it was about time.

Walking home today was downright treacherous! It began snowing at about 3pm, light at first, prompting verbal ejaculations such as:

"Oh it's light, it's been raining, it'll never settle"

An hour or so later:

"Look, it's beginning to settle"

Joy.

I held off my journey home in the hopes that it would stop, and sure enough it seemed to, until I stepped out the door. It wasn't too bad, but unfortunately it had been just light/heavy enough that it had started to turn to sludge. I counted myself lucky that there hadn't been too many people walking on it before me, pounding it into ice.

Walking to Euston wasn't too bad, but I had that horrible moment walking down the stairs into the tube station when the snow that's settled in your hair starts to melt and run down your face and neck...ewww.

The other end was a slightly different story.

The snow was thicker here, but had been trodden down a bit, and so, despite the freezing cold water oozing into your socks, you're forced to walk at about half the pace you normally would. The traffic at the intersection outside Blackhorse Road was at a standstill, I'm continually amazed at the sheer stupidity that snow brings out in drivers. I could still hear the angry toots from halfway down Forest Road.

Once I turned off the main road I found myself wishing again for that standstill traffic. It was far preferable to the sporadic vehicles bombing down the road at a rate of knots and sliding towards you at a diagonal when they finally saw fit to apply the brakes. I found myself stopping to warily eye up any car coming down the road, preparing to leap clumsily over a front garden wall should the situation necessitate. Behold the gauntlet I faced:

Not quite Gladiators I grant, I'd have killed for some of that handy padding though.

I turned the corner onto my road (one way) in relief and headed homeward bound.

It may, or may not, surprise you to learn that the first thing I did was head out into the garden. Our garden is quite pretty and I thought I'd take a few snaps before all the snow melted, or anyone came home to spoil it with footprints. Though I suspect they wouldn't be quite as mad as to venture out like I did.

So now I've stuck the heating on, made a cup of tea and snuggled up on the sofa.

On a non-snow note, Linda left for Australia today. I have a bit of a sad on about it, purely selfish as it's quite clear she's going to have an absolutely fantastic time out there, and I'm off to see her in June anyway! What an excellent excuse to visit Sydney eh?

Have a blast Linda, we'll miss your noise xxx I see you in 6 months :)

The Wiluf is off to Madrid tomorrow, so I won't see him until the new year, and who knows if the Greggle will be in? Teatimes are going to be a deadzone for the next two days.

Roll on Christmas, Nicki has come up with a delicious-sounding Slimming World xmas dinner! I know 'Slimming World' and 'delicious' don't sound like they belong in the same sentence, but you'd be surprised. Mum bought a bottle of Disaronno the other day and I suspect that'll go down well with Dad, Nicki and myself...om nom nom.

Safe journies home everybody, I'm off to starve cos I have no food in the house and I am NOT going back out to the Co-Op. I'm sure those Krispy Kremes, mince pies and lemon drizzle cakes from earlier will keep me from withering away overnight.

Snow.

Christmas Shopping

I've done most of it now, got a couple of bits to pick up, but nothing huge now....phew!!

Yesterday afternoon Nicki and I went to have lunchings with The Steve and I got my first Christmas present!! Wew! Rhiannas new album, that needs to go straight on the pod. I was mildly distracted for a while by all the raunchy pics on the inside cover....wrong.

Anywhoo, as usual, Nicki and I found ourselves distracted by the christmas market they had going on in Croydon highstreet. They have a lovely little stall with woollen dresses, skirts and coats, we had a little browse and Nicki picked out a top and I picked out a dress (70% Italian wool apparently), being wool it wasn't very stretchy. I couldn't find the one in extra large that I was looking for so Nicki burrowed through the people into the back to ask the lady whether she had that dress in extra large:

"Yes"...*quick look up and down*...."we have it in extra extra large too" *meaningful look*

Nicki didn't look best please when she returned, but advised me as to what the lovely lady had said (Nicki and I are pretty much the same kinda size), and so I dutifully picked up XXL and made my way to pay for it. She took it off me, looked at the size and gave me the quick once over.

"Yes" and a quick nod of satisfaction.

I couldn't help but smile and laugh. Italian ladies, they take no prisoners.

We wandered down the rest of the market, there are some lovely stalls, it's like a very upmarket craft fair, and I love craft fairs!

There was even a little eating area at the end where you could get your mulled wine and a mince pie and sit and watch the crowds go by....or if you stay late enough...some drunks or a stabbing!!

I know you're all gagging for the pubcrawl blog, I shall endeavour get it up in the next few days...there are some classic pictures!

xx

Day 6 - Exam and HOME!!

I'm home!!

For the past 5 days I have spent my hours in one of 3 sets of four walls....the training room, my accomodation, and the 'dining room'. I'm finally home, no one is in, I have the place to myself....and I have no homework hanging over me. Is this what bliss feels like?

It would be apart from the massive caffeine withdrawal headache I have developing, I knew this would be a hazard of drinking all that tea to keep myself alive.

The exam was ok, but it's very difficult to assess whether you think you've passed or not. The questions are worded in such a way that you have to tease the answers out of them, and despite insisting they don't put any trick questions in, they do throw some curve balls at you. I'm reasonably confident, but I really just have to wait for the results to come through.

Julian made me laugh during the exam, every now and again I'd look over to see his leg twitching manically under the table. Or, he'd put his head in his hands, then throw himself back in his seat and look at the ceiling before hunching back over the paper again. I'm sure I was also exhibiting all manner of stressed out behaviours unbeknownst to myself.

Having passed the foundation though, it means that I can study by myself and resit (and pay for) the Practitioners exam whenever I like...without having to go through that training again. So that's a bonus at least.

Only Mark and I needed to get the train and so we had a VERY rushed lunch in order to catch the transfer to the train station at 12:30, said our goodbyes and leapt onto the minibus. When we got to the train station...guess what....delays!

'We regret to inform you that the....11.06......first capital connect service to.....London Kings Cross....is delayed by approximately....1 hour and 20 minutes....due to....................snow'

Thanks.

However, one train was sufficiently delayed that it actually turned up almost when we needed it and so we leapt on. It was a slow train, but not too much slower than the normal one. In that regard we were lucky.

Not so lucky in terms of who we ended up sat next to.

I thought it would be the girls watching some comedy show or another loudly on their computer that would cause the hassle, but no. After a while it became evident that the chap sitting across the aisle to our left would become the bane.

Whether or not it was true I have no idea, but everyone who had the misfortune of sitting next to or across from him ended up being told about how:

- he'd just spent 2 years in prison

- his cellmate was serving 8 years "JUST for cuttin' someone up"

- anyone who hurt someone he loved would get "f*cked up" because he's not scared of going back

- he's going to visit his mum, which is good, but it's the reason he's drinking, because nothing ever pleases her.

THAT'LL please her

- the pearl in his ring calms him down when it touches his skin....ahem

He was drinking glasses of almost straight whiskey and was getting louder and louder and more and more pissed as the journey went on (bear in mind this is an hour-long journey...there was a distinct deterioration).

I was trying really hard to talk to and listen to Mark because we were chatting about how I could get involved in aid agencies and stuff, he fell into it about 15 years ago and it's an area I'm really interested in, but this guy was so distracting! The kind of bloke you try your hardest not to make eye contact with, because you know it'll end up with you embroiled in either conversation or a fight.

Lovely chap.

Anyway....WIN, this train stops at Finsbury Park, saves me going all the way into town and back out again.

So here I am. Tea to counter the caffeine headache....week old crumpets that I inspected for mould before deciding to risk my life with (in my mental business case the benefits of crumpet goodness far outweigh the risk I may throw up...bit of Prince2 humour for you there...I promise never to do that again).

In a few minutes I'm off out again to attend the work Christmas 'reception', and then I'll be at home for the weekend.

Looking forward to a relatively relaxing weekend, lets face it....anything is relaxing after the week I've just had.

Oh!! And that guys name was John! Thank you John :)